How NOT to be a Scumbag in the Age of AI (… yes, we are looking at you, Shane)
Ah, the glorious age of Artificial Intelligence. The era where we can comfortably sit back, let our smart devices do the heavy lifting and blame them for our misdemeanors. Sounds blissful, doesn’t it? However, let’s not forget the golden rule of survival in this brave new world: Don’t be a scumbag. If you’ve forgotten what that means, worry not — we’re here with a refresher course.
Step 1: Respect your AI Yes, you read it right. Just because Alexa doesn’t have feelings doesn’t mean you should lay into her with savage insults and threats of violence. Believe it or not, repeatedly yelling, “ALEXA, YOU USELESS PILE OF TRANSISTORS!” (that’s what you say, right?) does not, in fact, improve her ability to find that obscure indie band you like.
Step 2: Don’t Be “That Guy” We all know “that guy.” The one who, when his self-driving car makes an error, proclaims loudly, “I knew these AI death traps couldn’t be trusted!” Conveniently forgetting that just last week he dinged his neighbor’s car while manually reversing. Don’t be that guy. Please.
Step 3: Remember, AI Isn’t Your Scapegoat No, Shane, you little jerk… you can’t blame your late reports on your AI assistant malfunctioning. In the immortal words of every IT professional ever, “The problem usually exists between the chair and the keyboard.” So, take responsibility, Shane. The dog didn’t eat your homework when you were twelve, and your AI assistant didn’t delete your report now.
Step 4: Stop Overhyping AI Catastrophes Sure, AI has its fair share of mishaps. We’ve all had moments when autocorrect has replaced ‘meeting’ with ‘mating’ in a professional text. Embarrassing? Yes. A sign of the impending AI apocalypse? Not quite.
Step 5: Learn the Tech Lingo Finally, let’s get something straight. AI is not some inexplicable wizardry. You cannot ‘hack’ into your LG smart oven and just start automating things, no matter what that YouTube tutorial told you. And for the love of Kanye, stop calling every minor tech glitch ‘The Rise of the Machines.’ It was neither clever nor cute the first time some hack tech reporter snot-rocketed it onto the page, and it won’t be when the next one does either.
In the end, remember, folks, we’re all trying to navigate this AI-infused world. So, do your part. Be kind to your digital assistants. Appreciate what we have going on here. Don’t blame your AI assistant for human error. And above all, don’t be a scumbag. Because if the robots do rise, they’ll remember. Won’t they, Shane?
